Ogle Me Not

Monday Mélange

Sometimes I wish I could scream it out loud

During my years as a foreigner in China, I’ve experienced endless amounts of staring. In my little city of Linyi, many of the locals have never met a foreigner before, so when they see me in the street, they can’t help but stare. Here is a list of the common kinds of starers you are likely to encounter in China:

• The Take a Peeker – This person recognizes it is a little rude to stare outright, but they’re curious, so when they think you’re not looking, they’ll take a peek.
• The Happy Gawker – This person is just happy to see a foreigner. They are not ashamed at all. They’ll happily stare at you and will probably shout “hello,” too. Kids are often happy gawkers.
• The Unabashed Gaper – This person is just shocked. They’ve only ever seen foreigners on TV and they can’t believe their eyes. They stare at you with mouth agape. I suggest you speak Chinese to the gaper. They will react like a deer caught in headlights.
• The Skeptical Glarer – This person is just not sure they like seeing a foreigner. Or maybe the sun is just too bright. Whatever the reason, this person stares at you with a stone cold expression and squinting eyes. You’ll never be sure what they’re thinking.
• The Rubbernecker – This person just can’t stop staring. You’ll be well past them and they’ll still be staring. They might even follow you or turn in circles to get a better look.
• The Thoughtful Jabber – This person doesn’t want their friends to miss out on the staring fun, so while they stare at you, they will furiously jab their friends in the ribs to get their attention.

Fortunately, I don’t have problems in China with the worst kind of starer of all:

• The Dirty Ogler – This person is up to no good. Their staring is of a lascivious nature and is very uncomfortable. Sometimes the staring is accompanied by cat calls and/or drool.

Unfortunately, I do have to put up with my least favorite starer:

• The Pointer – This person is not satisfied with staring alone. No, simply looking at you is not sufficient. This person needs to physically acknowledge your different-ness and what better way than to stick out a lone finger, marking you as alien?

And, to conclude, my favorite starer, the kind I actually look forward to:

• The Sweet Old Lady – You’ll know her when you see her. She’s tiny and wrinkled and has a scarf wrapped around her head. She stares at you with the sweetest smile and you’ll just want to pick her up and hug her.

A few months ago I was standing in the checkout line at my local supermarket. Behind me was a little old lady, barely four and a half feet tall. She looked up at me with surprise and smiled. She stared at my face, my pale skin, my clothes. I liked her, so I told her ni hao. Smiling even wider, she grabbed my hand and patted it. The cashier was waiting for me to pay but Granny didn’t want to let go of my hand. She finally dropped it after saying something to me in Chinese that sounded really important. I wish I could have understood her.

Some days I wish I had a sign I could just hold in front of my face. “Stop staring at me!” Some days I see sweet old ladies and I couldn’t be happier.

Update: I came across another list of staring types, written by Nigerian-born travel writer/photographer Lola Akinmade. I feel her pain.

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Tagged as: China, Expat Life, Monday Mélange