The Adventure at Yi Shui – Part One

The Part With The Demon Water Slide From Hell

Let me just start by saying the DH ate dog meat on this trip. In his defense, it was cold and he was competing in a timed downhill ski competition.* Maybe he needed the strength. Maybe he’s just cruel and unjust. Everyone else at the table (a mix of Western Expats and Chinese) seemed to enjoy it as well, though, so maybe I’m the weird one.

*Not like it was Olympic caliber or anything…

Now that the dog treachery is out of the way, it is time to tell you about our day trip out of Linyi and north into the countryside, to Yi Shui County 沂水. The trip was arranged by our friend Julia. Julia owns a bar/café in Linyi, La Rive Gauche or 巴黎左岸 (ba li zuo an), and thanks to her appreciation of Western holidays and penchant for throwing parties (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s), her bar has become a serious contender in the long list** of local expat hangouts. (**Also on the list: McDonald’s and … Yeah, that’s about it.) Julia’s main aim in arranging the trip was to have a team compete on behalf of her bar in a downhill skiing speed competition. Despite the fact that it is cold and sometimes snowy here in Shandong Province, we were all a bit surprised that downhill skiing is even possible. Having now visited one of Shandong’s ski “resorts”, I am here to report that, yes, skiing here is possible. (And this is not the only one – turns out there are small ski hills all over Shandong!)

Ski hill in Yi Shui County, Shandong Province (sorry for the bum shot)

In addition to the winter ski hill, the area is well known for a cave, or natural underground gallery, as it is translated from the Chinese. Natural scenic hotspots in China tend to have an amusement park feel to them, with giant cartoon statues, crazy colors, long rows of souvenir booths, food stands and people everywhere. The cave at Yuan Dong Tou Xiang 院东头乡, the village in Yi Shui County where we were, has none of that. It is all nature. (Or so we thought, but more on that as you read…)

Cave entrance – in the center of the photo

The visit begins with a short walk up and down a specially-built staircase, which has been constructed of natural-appearing materials instead of glaring gray concrete and which also blends in well to the sides of the small ravine. All natural! No billboards advertising milk or sportswear, no food vendors, no people milling about. We were lucky to have a clear, sunny day. It was truly peaceful and relaxing. Just look at that sky!

View down the small valley

Chinese people like to take pictures in front of scenic hotspots or statues or buildings or whatever. They figure if you or your family are not in the photo, you weren’t really there. (Or so I imagine.) I didn’t want to be not there:

Moi, posing in front of small waterfall

I have been to a few caves over the years, including Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico, which I remember being pretty spectacular. Even so, I am not jaded. I was impressed by this cave in the middle of nowhere, China. Upon entering, you are hit by a wall of humidity and heat. Since it was pretty darn cold outside, this was a huge relief. I immediately removed my hat, gloves and scarf and opened up the two layers of my coat. The Chinese in our group were a little surprised, and stayed bundled up the whole time. That’s pretty common, though, so the fact that they weren’t also disrobing didn’t surprise me.

The first part of the cave has been enlarged, both width and height-wise, so it didn’t feel claustrophobic at all. The walkway, constructed out of the same material as the exterior stairs, some kind of stained concrete I think, meanders along the small stream that created the cave. Ropes of lights have been attached to the sides of the walkway at foot level. At first I thought this was a little tacky, but the further we walked the more they made sense. More than once I discovered a step or a gap in the path because of the cleverly placed lights. Good thinking on that. Further inside, the cave is in its natural state, with narrower walls and a wide variety of cave-things, like waterfalls, stalactites, stalagmites, columns and funny structures resembling birds and phalluses, you know, normal cave stuff. (There was more than just a little juvenile giggling at times.)

If you’ve ever been in a cave with a camera you know it is generally very difficult to get good photos. (Unless you’re a photographer!) There were lots of interesting structures in this cave that I would have liked to photograph, (no, not phalluses) but due to my inferior skills, I didn’t even try. The DH did get a few good shots, however, so you can imagine what this particular cave looked like. The DH insists I add a disclaimer here stating that the cave may or may not be as “interesting” as these photos let on. I will repeat my initial opinion that it’s a good cave, as caves go.

Really, the only difference between a Chinese cave and an American one is that the Chinese think up far more esoteric names for all the structures inside. (Resting Lotus Hall, Sharp Teeth of Sun Dragon, Moonbeam Pagoda, etc.)

Walkway with lights – dreamy & trippy

Towards the end of the cave is where it all starts to go downhill. Kind of literally. After a nice walk through the cave, maybe 15 minutes long, the temperature started to drop. I figured we were coming to the end and so I zipped up my coat and replaced my hat, gloves and scarf. We were not, in fact, at the end of the cave. We were at the end of the walking portion of the cave, but there was more fun to come. Fun, fun, fun. And I do mean in that most sarcastic way possible! Up ahead, imagine my surprise to see not an exit, but a large room and a concrete channel filled with water and small rubber canoes waiting for occupants. What the?! Remember how I said that Chinese nature hotspots tend to have amusement park qualities? Well, here it was, a demon water canoe slide from hell. It didn’t start out that way, of course. No, it started out as a gentle ride through yet more interesting cave, the speed of the water building up more and more until we eventually hit rapids, 90 degree angle turns and, I kid you not, concrete bumps in the canal meant to send us flying through the air, landing with a thud and splash back in the channel. Freezing cold water spewed everywhere, soaking the DH’s butt. (Mine was mildly protected by my coat.) I was so perturbed by the whole experience I couldn’t even get out of the raft at the end of the ride. An old Chinese dude had to hoist me out. (He was a really old Chinese dude, btw, with a long metal pipe hanging around his neck for smoking god knows what.) I bet that water slide is pretty fun in the Summer. In the Winter, not so much.

After the cave and demon water slide, we ate dog. Well, I didn’t, but someone I know did. Gross. Luckily, there were other dishes at lunch, too. I couldn’t bear to take a photo of the dog dish, and you’re probably thanking me for that, but I did stare at it in disbelief for several minutes and I’m pretty sure there was a tail on the plate. Okay…

Site of the dog eating

Now that my belly was full (vegetables, tofu and fish, thank you very much), and I had braved a visit to the loo, it was time to rent some skis and make a fool of myself. As if I wasn’t conspicuous enough as a foreign chic, I was going to attempt to ski after nine years… Meanwhile, all the Chinese in our group expected all of us Westerners to be Olympic class athletes… The Adventure in Yi Shui County will continue on Thursday with Part Two – Tales of the Slopes.

Here’s a question to lure you back – what substance does the Yi Shui County Ski Hill fail to put on their skis, leading to the miraculous ability to walk uphill with your skis on? Tune in Thursday!

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Tagged as: cave, China, Shandong Province, ski, skiing, Travel, winter