This is really embarrassing to admit, but after four years in China I still speak like a toddler. And not even a really smart toddler. My Mandarin skills are deplorable. Sure, I get by and by that I mean I can tell a taxi driver where to go, answer questions about where I am from, bargain for food at the street market and tell people that, sorry, I can’t speak Chinese. I have gotten so good at saying “I can’t speak Chinese” that everyone refuses to believe that, in fact, I cannot speak Chinese.

I have a pocketful of excuses for why I have let my language learning slide. At first I told everyone I was trying. And I was, for a while. Then I blamed my lack of acquisition on the fact we were living at an airport, in the middle of cornfields, talking only to other foreigners. And that would have been a correct assessment of the first year. Then I enrolled in grad school and conveniently blamed “studying” and a lack of time. Oops, it’s been nine months since I graduated. The truth is I have had a major lack of motivation and will. My heart just wasn’t in the language.

Well, folks, the shame has won out. Something happened when I was on vacation in Spain. Perhaps I realized that if I could speak Spanish, there really were no excuses for not learning Mandarin. Besides, all that business about Mandarin being “so hard” is really just hooey. Spanish is a heck of a lot harder than Mandarin. Mandarin has practically no grammar rules at all! Yes, the tones are difficult, but I have found that after four years of listening to this language, I have got a pretty firm grasp on the tones and rhythm.

While I don’t recommend spending a few years becoming familiar with a language before actually learning it, that is the road I’ve taken. And I am finally going to learn it. I’m committed! I have put it in writing – I am GOING to speak Mandarin. I am leaning heavily on ChinesePod, a college textbook and my work colleagues for practice. Wish me luck!

I had some coffee the other day at Coffee Language, a restaurant close to People’s Square here in Linyi. I haven’t been there in a long time and they have changed their menu since my last visit. I only wanted coffee, but I decided to have a look at the food just to see what was different. What was different was that the menu items are now only offered in Chinese, they used to be in Chinese and English. Weird. The main menu headings were still in English, however, which is how I could identify the snacks and drinks sections. One heading was a little confusing, though. “Atherosclerosis,” it read. That sounds very appetizing. “Yes, waitress, I think I’ll have the second item here under atherosclerosis. Xie xie.”

When the DH and I first arrived to China, we lived at the Shijiazhuang airport. Being an airport located in the middle of cornfields, there were not a lot of dining options. We learned to order one dish – yu xiang rou si – and then proceeded to eat it daily. (Both because it was easy to order and we liked it that much.) Our food vocabulary has improved since those early days, but I still feel ridiculously unprepared when entering a restaurant.

How to Order Chinese Food and Like a Local are two lifesavers for the newly-arrived or the Mandarin-challenged.

How to Order Chinese Food will show you tantalizing photos, accompanied by a description and the Chinese name in pinyin and characters. There is information on regional cuisines, ordering guides by type of food and a glossary. Thanks HtOCF! Where were you two years ago?!

Like a Local shares pictures and descriptions of delicious street food around Shanghai (and has the cutest header graphic ever!). I don’t live in Shanghai, but if I did, I would keep a close eye on this site. Still, it is helpful for others in China as some of the food is similar. For example, all summer the DH and I devoured huge quantities of these little guys:

Yumm! Crawfish! Or as some people call them, crayfish. Anywho, from this post, I learned that crawfish are called xiǎo lóng xiā 小龙虾 in Chinese, which translates literally as little dragon shrimp. Something about that makes me happy. I like eating little dragons. I like eating!

**Update** Thanks to Kunzilla for pointing out that lóng xiā actually means lobsters, so crawfish are known as little lobsters. I still like eating little lobsters.

Like a Local also gives advice on how to order in Chinese and what the waitress will possibly say to you. There is also a valuable post on buying fruit from street vendors and how to avoid being cheated.

Scrolling through the Like a Local blog, I have come to realize it is my dream come true. Now, if only I were in Shanghai to enjoy this street food every single day!

Excuse me, I’m about to have a huge nerd moment.

Have you ever felt like spending your free time doing some independent university study? Really!? Me too!

The wait is over! Check out MIT’s open courseware. MIT is offering courses for free. Of course, you have to do all the work, but they offer the syllabus, lecture notes, handouts, and some have video of lectures and readings. I’m working through the Chinese I course and looking at the Medical Anthropology course.

In our quest to learn mandarin we seem to have overlooked one important phrase – “welcome.”

Like total idiots, for the past year every time we entered a restaurant or store we understood the workers to be saying “Good Morning” at any time of the day. We always thought, how nice! They are really trying to make us feel welcome, even if they’ve got the wrong phrase (good morning in the afternoon).

Turns out they are not saying Good Morning at all, but something that sounds like it, something like Huan Ying – which means welcome. (They say more than that, though including something that sounds like “good” or begins with a g. I’m going to ask my coworker tomorrow.)

And we, like complete dorks, always proudly responded, “Good Morning!” Doy…